Persuasion...

Last weekend for Valentine's Day I had the pleasure of spending the evening with a fun group of ladies. We had quite the spread of yummy food, including a whole table full of dessert! We all know that a girl's night would not be complete without dessert! It was a sweet night of fellowship, relaxing, and enjoying the lovely work of Jane Austen, and the suave dance moves of Fred Astaire. Two different eras...... equally wonderful. :)

a fun group of girls.... :)

We opted to watch "Persuasion" rather than the loooong version of P&P. During the movie there is much wondering and waiting to see if the main characters finally get together. What would a love story be without the beautiful agony of anticipation? :) I just have to share this letter that was written by Captain Wentworth to the woman he loved, which of course cleared all misunderstandings away and made for a happy ending! Sigh. Excuse me for being a sap, but it actually brought tears to my eyes. Not even kidding.

If you know the background and the conversation that Captain Wentworth was overhearing Anne have with Captain Benwick just a few feet away from him while he was writing this letter, then you will have a deeper understanding and appreciation for the words he writes to Anne. People just don't write like this anymore....

Dearest Anne,

I can listen no longer in silence. I must speak to you by such means as are within my reach. You pierce my soul. I am half agony, half hope. Tell me not that I am too late, that such precious feelings are gone forever. I offer myself to you again with a heart even more your own, than when you almost broke it eight years and a half ago. Dare not say that man forgets sooner than woman, that his love has an earlier death. I have loved none but you. Unjust I may have been, weak and resentful I have been, but never inconstant. You alone have brought me to Bath. For you alone I think and plan. - Have you not seen this? Can you fail to have understood my wishes? - I had not waited even these ten days, could I have read your feelings, as I think you must have penetrated mine. I can hardly write. I am every instant hearing something which overpowers me. You sink your voice, but I can distinguish the tones of that voice, when they would be lost on others.- Too good, too excellent creature! You do us justice indeed. You do believe that there is true attachment and constancy among men. Believe it to be most fervent, most undeviating in F.W. ......I must go, uncertain of my fate; but I shall return hither, or follow your party, as soon as possible. A word, a look will be enough to decide whether I enter your father's house this evening or never.

Alone

"The hill was steep, but cheered along the way

by converse sweet,

I mounted on the thought that so it might be

till the height was reached;

But suddenly a narrow winding path appeared

And then the Master said,

'My child, Here thou wilt safest walk with Me alone.'

I trembled, yet my heart's deep trust replied,

'So be it, Lord.' He took my feeble hand in His,

Accepting thus my will to yield Him all,

and to find all in Him.

One long, dark moment, And no friend I saw,

save Jesus only.

But oh! so tenderly He led me on and up,

And spoke to me such words of cheer,

Such secret whisperings of His wondrous love,

That soon I told Him all my grief and fear,

And leaned on His strong arm confidingly.

And then I found my footsteps quickened,

And light ineffable, the rugged way illumined,

Such light as only can be seen

in close companionship with God.

A little while, and we shall meet again

the loved and lost;

But in the rapturous joy of greetings,

such as here we cannot know,

And happy song, and heavenly embraces,

And tender recollections rushing back of pilgrim life,

Methinks one memory more dear and sacred

than the rest, shall rise, and we who gather in the

golden streets, shall oft be stirred to speak

with grateful love of that dark day

when Jesus bade us climb some narrow steep,

leaning on Him alone."

-Dan Crawford

Deuteronomy 32:12

a few random photos....

Deep, Deep Waters

My heart is heavy and I am feeling broken.

Do you ever have those moments when you are fighting for joy?

When you truly feel as though you could drown in your own tears?

When life as you know it, changes in an instant, without warning?

When things happen that are so far beyond your realm of understanding?

When you're convinced the best option would be to run far away to the mountains in Montana, and never return? :)

When the waves keep pounding over you, until you just....can't....breathe?

When you are certain that you cannot bear one more burden?

When everything in you wants to despair....

but you don't

because you cling to the hope that can only be found through Christ

and you trust in the LORD's lovingkindness and compassion that

never fails....

NEVER.

All of these things have been very real to me in the last couple months through circumstances in my own life and in the lives of people who are near and dear to me. I'm not sure I have one perfect word to sum up life as of late. It's been weird, puzzling, emotional, overhwelming, heartbreaking, challenging, faith testing, and....not what I expected. One thing is for certain, I have grown closer to the Lord Jesus through these trials, and for that I am deeply thankful. His ways are completely beyond me, but I have to trust that He knows what is best for me, even if it hurts to the very core of my heart and makes no sense to me right now. I know there is a plan and purpose for it all and I pray that God will be glorified in it.

On Monday my own personal struggles and heartaches became seemingly insignificant and trivial in my mind and I was faced with something much more difficult to understand. I was brought to my knees when I received a call from one of my best friends. A call that I was expecting to be full of joy and excitement and news that she was in labor. When I heard her voice I knew something was terribly wrong, but nothing could have prepared me for the weight of her words as she told me they couldn't find the baby's heartbeat. There are no words sufficient to describe the sorrow I feel for my sweet friend and her husband, and oh how I wish I could bear the pain for them. Today I am feeling numb, and wishing that this was all just a horrible nightmare that we could wake up from. I don't understand it. I can't even begin to try. The only thing I can do is cling to God's promises and rest in the knowledge that He will tenderly care for Tony and Charity and He will pour out His immeasurable love, mercy and peace on them. Through their suffering, I am praying that their marriage will become stronger and they will draw even nearer to the Lord in the dark days ahead. The sorrow I feel as their friend does not even come close to what Tony and Charity are experiencing. I am so thankful that they have a glorious hope and are comforted by the God of all comfort. I look forward to meeting their beautiful baby girl some day in glory.

James 1:2-4 has taken on a whole new meaning and become so much more real for me recently. Charity and I memorized those verses together. I am trying to wrap my mind around what it really means to "consider it all joy". It's tough.

Oh Father, please give us all a peace that surpasses all comprehension.....

we need You so desperately.